What Matters

As of June 6, 2014, I will have been a computer programmer for 47 years. I estimate that I have written over three million lines of computer code in a plethora of programming languages, many of them long dead. But who gives a shit? Sure, programming has paid the rent… at least most of the time. But will anybody actually look at and really read the code I have spent so much of my life writing? Probably not. So what really matters? (more…)


Coming Out…

I have been working on this site since last June and it’s time to step out of my comfort zone and go public. Today, I am going to invite friends and family to come take a look at what I have created. There are pages that aren’t finished yet and I am certain that my wife and proof-reader, Donna, will find scads of spelling errors, but I can live with those nits and clean them up as I find them. My big concern is that this is not one site, but three. (more…)


On Vulnerability and Safety

I have been creating, leading and participating in men’s circles for over a dozen years now and learned the hard way that the single most important ingredient of an effective circle is psychic or emotional safety. In this post, I explore the relationship between emotional safety and vulnerability. (more…)


Between Trapezes

Danaan Parry, founder of the Earth Stewards Network taught me that to get from one trapeze to another, I first must let go of the trapeze I am hanging onto. This requires a leap of faith. Will the other trapeze be there? Will I go splat on the ground? These are questions that most of us have to face at one time or another in our lives. As I move into semi-retirement, I too am looking for my next trapeze, but this time, I have the luxury of being a bit picky. I am not looking for just any old trapeze, but only those opportunities where I can provide considerable value and bring all (or at least most) of me to the game.

So what do I bring?

Technology Skills

  • Website development using SQL Server, LINQ, C#, jQuery
  • Software architecture
  • Extensive Software Development Life Cycle (SDLC) Knowledge
  • Strong Project Management Skills
Human Skills

  • Excellent Listening Skills
  • Strong Conflict Resolution Skills
  • High Emotional IQ
  • Deep Self-Awareness

And what kind of trapeze am I looking for?

  • Contract / 1099 (no benefits needed)
  • No Commuting – must be able to work from home or a local office.
  • Part time (2-3 days per week max)

To learn more about me:

To contact me:

Email: bob@rhj4.com Phone: (360) 441-0784

A Different Kind of Coaching

I was certified as a coach in 2001, right about the time that I went through The Mankind Project‘s New Warrior Training Adventure (NWTA). Like many newly minted coaches, I had a difficult time honing in on a specific niche, and my practice never got off the ground. Instead, I sat in circle with a small group of other men while we learned to coach each other. I spent almost a year in my original “I-Group” in Seattle before the commute from Bellingham started to get to me. In the Spring of 2002, another man from Bellingham and I started an I-Group here in Bellingham and that group now has almost 20 men in it and we are going strong.

In the intervening 12 years, I have helped start over two dozen other I-Groups by becoming a certified leader of our “Primary Integration Training” (PIT) which teaches men the tools, skills and self-awareness to sit in circle and help coach each other to deeper levels of authenticity, accountability and openness.

I also led the process to develop the current version of the PIT Manual, a 150+ page manual that describes how to create a “safe container” for men to do our work and outlines many tools and techniques we can use to help each other look deeply into our own unconscious selves and bring what Carl Jung called “our shadows” into the light.

I have also supported (“staffed”) 35+ NWTA weekends and started an initiative with MKP to identify and define a role called “Community Elder”. I am considered a leader within MKP and I have been told repeatedly that my facilitation skills are better than most trained psychologists. While this latter judgment may or may not be true, two things are very clear in my mind: I know how to coach men, and I haven’t a clue about how to coach women.

Given this crystal clear insight, I am now preparing to offer my coaching skills to men only, and then only to those men who are committed to fiercely looking inward and becoming better men in the process.

I have not yet “hung my shingle” because I still have to prepare some of my intake and procedural materials, but if you are interested, please contact me.

Contact Me

Contact Me

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