Twas the Night after New Years


This piece was written while I was the CTO of Etelos, a startup I co-founded in 1999.

‘Twas the night after New Years
And all through my head
Danced visions of chaos
As I lay in my bed.

Beta was groaning
And Klingon was trashed.
HanSolo was frozen
And Wilma had crashed.

As the next century arrives
And Y2K fears abate
I think of our processes,
(And all the food that I ate.)

How do we write code,
And where does it go?
When do we move it,
And how does Ann know?

Our data is basic,
And we cannot ignore
How we move it around
The wires on our floor.

Reuse is important,
But how do you know
‘Bout the code Ahmad wrote
When things were not slow?

Or the forms and the data
That Jemma designed.
Where are they now?
Is that on your mind?

David has done stuff
That really is cool.
Do you know what he did?
Does it belong in our pool?

And speaking of swimming,
Have you thought about this?
If our systems should crash,
What would you miss?

We must dance with each other
And not step on toes
But how Source Safe can help us
Nobody knows!

We talk of a CoLo
And think it will help
But managing systems
Makes me want to yelp!

Do we know how to setup
Microsoft’s web server – IIS?
As best I can tell now,
All we can do is guess!

Transact SQL,
Stored procedures and views
Are really cool features
But I have some news;

What’s on Beta is different
From Betty – I’m sure.
But how to resolve this?
We need a good cure!

So here’s what I’m asking
From each one of you.
Help figure this out –
This problem’s not new.

Think about process,
Procedures and tools.
What do we need
To not feel like fools?

We’re accountable all
For building our space.
We must dance together
In this human race.

So what’s the solution?
I ask each of you
To take charge and think
About what we must do.

Bob Jones – Jan 2, 2000

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